The Unexpected Pregnancy of Uzumaki Naruto
by S Girlie
Summary: You've really got problems if the father of your children realizes you're pregnant before you do. sasunaru yaoi mpreg COMPLETE
1. Ignorance

Sorrosa Girlie again... this time with my favorite obsesion... MPREG! I'd like to dedicate this to my best friend in theworld who happens to be moving to a far away place... 

Umm... I may continue this If I get enough reviews... It's kinda iffy... 

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Naruto... but Sasuke's soul is mine for the taking... bought it on ebay. 

On with teh fic!

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It's morning again... and like every morning for the past two monthes, I am positioned over the toilet spilling my guts out. Why me... Why can't Sasuke be the one sick? He deserves it more then me... the way he's be acting lately... He looks at me as I continue to vomit, he has that same distressed look in his face. I glare at him telling him to fuck off, but he doesn't leave, he then just nervously smiles advances towards me. 

"Naruto, there is something I want you to know..." He put his arms around me, holding me close, "If there is anything you every want to tell me, don't even hesitate, I will never leave your side." He kisses my forehead, his eyes look like he's expects me to say something... but I am so confused. What the hell does he want from me? It's not like I've done anything... I've never cheated or been unfaithful. All I know is that he is holding me tightly, we are on the bathroom floor, kneeling infront of the toilet and If I do not move quick I am going to barf on him. 

Too Late. 

Sasuke doesn't look too upset about the throw-up, he simply pulls off his shirt, quickly getting a towel, but I can tell he is disappointed. I wonder what it is that I've done. I know that I've been sick for a while, but I have no control over when I get ill. It's not like I've been difficult either... 

He's been like this for a while now, he watches me from a distance as I try to deal with my sickness, once and a while offering to take me to the hospital. But I don't want to... Admitting that I need medical attention is exactly what he wants and I won't give in. I am Uzumaki Naruto and I don't do hospitals. They'll probably just tell me a bunch of bullshit and send me back home... so what's the point? 

I get up from my position on the floor, walking out to the kitchen. I open the fridge to look for something edible... something that I can keep down. It's been hell... this illness, I can't even eat ramen! It's like a torture on my body... with the lack of ramen in my system I feel my body get heavier as the days pass. 

I spota box ofcrackers that Sasuke bought for me and quickly pick it up, opening it... 

Damn. 

Not as good as ramen. 

But I continue to eatthem becausethey seem to be the only thing that my stomach will agree with at times like these... It's weird how Sasuke knowsexactly what to feed me when I am sick, like he knows what is wrong with me... 

God damn Sasuke. Where is he? 

"Sasuke!" I scream, but there is no response, he must have left allready... for some reason he doesn't wait for me in the morings anymore, he leaves earlier too. I curse to myself as I finish off the box heading out the door... 

Asshole... 

I greet Sakura I as I make to the bridge, she just glares at me... apparently she is still pissed off at me for taking away her dear-sweet 'Sasuke-kun' Deal bitch. We've been together for three years... it's about time to get over it. 

I don't say anything though... I don't want to get her more upset then she already is... I look back at Sasuke, He's being his usual bastard self. I turn to him and ask him why he left me this morning, he gives me his usual lame-ass excuse of not wanting to smell my puke. What ever, asshole, see if you get some tonight. 

Kakashi evenually shows up, I yell and stuff... things happen and before I know It we are tending to an old woman's seventeen cats named George. The smell is enough to raise the dead... I feel horribly nauseous, but I keep it in. If I cannot evencatch a god damn cat, how can I ever expect to ever be Hokage! As I chase George no. 8 aroundI stop to catch my breath, Sasuke comesto check up on me. 

"You look like shit," He says, looking at me as I pant, "Go home and take a rest." 

I refuse as I slowly return to a normal state, "I'm fine... I don't want to go back home! I still haven't caught that damn cat!" 

"Stop acting foolishly," Sasuke approaches me grabbing my hand, "Let me take you to the hospital at least... I know whats going on Naruto... I'm not as stupid as you think. What really annoys me is how you thought you could hide something like this... Come on.. you are throwing up every morning and you've obviously gained alot of weight, I think that is enough to be a little concerned about." His grasp becomes tighter as he pulls me allong, "Did you ever think that I might be happy? You are everything to me, Naruto... I don't even understand my you are tryinghide this..." 

"Hide what?" I scream in agitation, "I've done nothing wrong! you are the one who has been acting like an asshole lately!" I stop abruptly as he turns to me. 

"How the hell do you want me to act?" He screams, "If you won't even come forward and tell me, how do you expect me to react to our situation... when were you planning on telling me Naruto? How on earth can you expect me to be a good father when you won't even give me a chance?" 

"Okay... you've lost me..." I scratch my head in confusion, "What the hellare youtalking about?" 

He begins to twitch, "You don't even realize what's going on with your own body!" 

Okay... now I am really confused... What does he mean... I just stare at him in cluelessness... 

"You're pregnant, Idiot." He sighes looking at me as I go into a shocked state. 

Fuck.

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Well!

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	2. Hospitals

Hello... Thank you all for the reviews... much love to ya all... this chapter is short, but I am what you call a rabid Mpreg Fangirl and will be updating this fic as much as humanly possible... so do not fear about the length... I probably will be updating every other day if I have time... besides... I 'm taking my sweet time...

ON WITH TEH FIC!

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"I... I..." I can't say a word, I am in complete shock. What Sasuke said... It can't be true! I am a man therefore it is genetically impossible for me to get pregnant. But when I think about it, I AM possessed be a vengeful fox spirit that is slowly but surely fusing with me. Not to mention that I have been extremely sick and yet I have gained weight. It seems as if Sasuke might be correct in his assumption.

"There is no way this can be happening." I state shaking free of my thoughts, "I... I can't be... a child?"

"I think so," Sasuke calmly states, taking hold of me, "Although I am not completely sure, there is no other explanation for your current state... you need to see a doctor." It seems as if Sasuke is right... despite my grudge against doctors, I have to do this, I have to know.

We then walk to the hospital, abandoning the mission and those god damn cats. As I walk into the waiting room there is a shocked look on the receptionist's face.

"No way..." She appears to be amazed by my presence, "There is no way Uzumaki Naruto, he who hates hospitals, is standing before me."

"Yeah," I reply, trying to hold in my embarrassment, "I'm here, I need to see someone about a problem I'm having...'

"I'll get someone right away..." She speaks as she turns away, "It must be serious for you to want to come back after what happened last time..."

"What happened last time?" Sasuke asks me as the nurse leaves. A blush creeps over my face.

"NOTHING!" I scream loud enough to wake up some old people, "NOTHING HAPPENED! MY ANUS IS JUST FINE!" he then gives me a questioning look replying with the usual "whatever dobe" as we take our seats.

I am anxious, I don't know how else to explain it. I am not quite sure on how to express my emotions either... It's not every day a man thinks he might be knocked up... my knees begin to shake... what if I am? Will my relationship with Sasuke stay the same? How will people treat the child of a demon and his homosexual lover? I feel a hand against my leg, I look up to see Sasuke with reassuring eyes.

"Calm down," He says, causing me to cease my shaking, "No matter what the doctor says things are going to be alright, I will never let anyone hurt you... I will never abandon you."

"Sasuke... I'm so scared," I can't help but state as he comforts me, "What if you are right? what the hell are we going to do?"

"Shh..." He places a finger over my lip as he continues, "It doesn't really matter to me... I am with you... that makes me the happiest man alive. If you are pregnant, then I will be the happiest father alive. Regardless of the results, I want to continue to be happy... Nobody can get in the way of that..."

I don't say anymore... I believe Sasuke, I know the bastard will be there for me. We wait for about five more minutes until the receptionist returns with none other than Tsunade herself. She just looks at me... chuckling.

"What's wrong Naruto?" She teases me, "Cat got your ass?" I rise to my feet automatically in defense.

"Shut the fuck up you bitch!" I yell, shaking my fist, "It was an accident damnit!"

"Whatever you say..." Tsunade continues, "That's not what the cat said..." I begin to scream as Sasuke just looks at me in confusion... before I can explain, we are in an examination room, I am dressed in a dress, and things are very... uncomfortable. Sasuke explains our situation and Tsunade begins to laugh hysterically...

"God that's rich..." She wipes the tears from her eyes, "Okay.. why are you really here?"

"I just told you," Sasuke glares in frustration, "I suspect Naruto is pregnant, we need you to confirm my suspicions." She just looks at him... I think she realizes we are not playing.

"You can't be serious..." Tsunade stares at me at I sit on the examination table, face completely straight "Oh my god you are! What the fuck?"

"Just check me already!" I scream in annoyance, laying down, "God damn woman..." She doesn't even fight back... she quickly walks towards me, pressing her hands into my stomach. I don't know exactly what is going on but, I look to Sasuke for reassurance, which he gives me as he reaches for my hand... It seems like an hour before she finally takes he hands off of me... her face completely white...

"Whoa..." She utters taking a step back, "If that isn't the oddest thing I've ever seen..." She then turns around running for the door, leaving me and Sasuke alone in the room.

"What do you think that means?" I ask Sasuke curiously, sitting upright on the table.

He then smiles, bringing me in for a tight embrace...

"We're having a baby you idiot!" He then picks me off the table spinning me around euphorically...

Whoa. If this isn't the most awkward situation I've ever been in...

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	3. Three

Well here I am again... the madness ensues... this chapter is also fairly short... but, as I have said in the previous chapter... I will be updating frequently, so it really doesn't matter how long the chapters are... I write as things come to me and I want to make sure I get this mpreg thing out of my system... you could say I am a freak.

Also... I love all the reviews I have recieved and I just want to say that I love you all.

On with the fic!

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I have never been so happy in my life. I twirl him around in disbelief... this cannot be real, I just can not come to terms with reality, I look into his eyes... the eyes of the person I love, he seems just as out of touch with reality as I am.

"Sasuke, cut it out I feel dizzy!" He screams, worming his way out of my grasp, I can't help but grab hold of him once more,

"I love you so fucking much!" I kiss him fiercely, he just stares at me in astonishment.

"So... We..." He collects his thoughts, shaking his head, "We're gonna have a kid?" His face begins to light up, "This is so awesome! Oh my god!" he then squeezes me as hard as he can, "You're going to be a daddy! And I'm gonna be... another Daddy!"

"Sorry, dobe." I smirk as I gaze upon his excited expression, "You are the mom, there is no way of getting around it." He then pouts, flailing his arms about.

"AM NOT! AM NOT! AM NOT!" He screams, hitting my chest, "I am not a woman! I am not a mother!"

"And yet you are the one who is pregnant..." I roll my eyes at him as I dodge one of his clumsy punches. Man... no day would be complete without the usual Sasuke and Naruto Fight and Fuck... He continues to swing at me as I simply maneuver around his fists,

"Fight me damnit!" He screams, stomping his feet. God, what an idiot... like I'd punch the moron carrying my baby.

"It's not gonna happen smart one," I state in between blocking his furious attacks, I see and opening as he backs up into a coach, I gently push him down into it, "Now be a good pregnant man and simmer down. Your reckless behavior is not good for the baby."

"Asshole," He pouts, crossing his arms, "Even in this state I'd so kick your ass..."

"Whatever you need to say to make you feel better about yourself," I reply, sitting beside him, he shoots me a glare, but I ignore it, "I will not risk harming our child... therefore I must restrain from harming you. I think you'd agree if you were not upset with me."

"Hmm..." Naruto gets a sinister smile across his face, "So you are saying I can do whatever I want to you and you cannot so much as touch me?" He then tries to make a hit for my stomach I quickly grab his wrists pinning him to the coach.

"I never said I wouldn't touch you..." I smirk at the upset boy, "I simply said that I would not hurt you, I can think of at least ten ways I can express that right now." I draw him into a kiss as I initiate part two of Sasuke and Naruto Fight and Fuck... only to be interrupted by a door opening behind me. I turn around to see Tsunade standing there with a half filled bottle of vodka.

"There will be no couch sex in this hospital." She states, walking towards us, "Now I suggest you stop fooling around and get prepared for what I have to say to you." I slowly let go of Naruto, returning to my seat beside him. Tsunade simply stands, taking a large gulp from her bottle.

"How do you feel about being a mother, Naruto?" She asks him, I turn my attention to the blonde as he begins to answer.

"I'm kind of scared... but at the same time very excited!" He takes hold of my hand, firmly holding it, "I want to have a family with Sasuke, I want children to love and look after."

"Would you consider quitting the ninja profession in order to have that?" Tsunade calmly speaks, taking in more liquor. The simple statement causes Naruto to explode, spitting out his usual, "I will become Hokage!" speech and "Women don't have to quit!" type of screams, I try to calm him down, but there is no use... Tsunade struck a nerve, being a ninja is something Naruto values more than his own life... I can't blame him though... It's like some one telling me my brother is sun-loving optimist who enjoys long walks on the beach... eww... just... ewww...

"Jeez... relax Naruto, It was just a question!" Tsunade comments, looking up at the blonde who is about to rip off her head, "I just thought it would be a little difficult for someone like you to handle three kids and a career..."

"Shut the fuck up! I will be Ho..." Naruto stops in his tracks, "Three?" We just freeze in terror as Tsunade laughs her ass off...

"Congrats you two... good luck going through hell." She then walks out of the room, throwing her bottle at the wall as she exits. Wow... Three... that's a lot...

"So what do you think Sasuke?" Naruto speaks, looking at me in fear, "Are you still happy about being a dad?"

"Of coarse," I smile, watching his expression change to a sense of relief, "The more to love."

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Sorrosa Girlie signing off.


	4. Pink and Ducks

Here I am... with yet another chapter of my happy little mpreg fic! yeah... I am an obsessed idiot... but who really gives a damn? Thank you so much to those who were nice enough to review... you all seriously have a special place in my heart, enough of that... let's get on with this fic...

Like I have said before, the chapters are short, but I am updating frequently, so it should not matter... sorry to those who are upset by my odd obsessive nature.

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It's been about amonth since the ordeal at the hospital and already Sasuke is bossing me around. Shut the fuck up you asshole! Yes, I took my god damn Vitamin B-6! All he does is make more and more demands of me... It makes me sick how he thinks he can control me!

God, I feel as if I could rip off his head, lastweek he told me that from now on I can no longer go on missions or participate in any training whatsoever... who the hell doe he think he is? I am not some bitch he can just order around... I may be pregnant, but I can still do stuff! Maybe not in the mornings, too much puking...or in the afternoons, I have side aches by then...But I can do stuff!

Oh shit... maybe I am a bitch.

"You are gettig fatter," Sasuke, pokes at my stomach from behind, "You should wear the maternity clothes I bought for you."

"My clothes fit just fine!" I yell, turning around to meet his stare, "Besides... all the clothes you got are pink and are covered in ducks! There is no way I am going to wear something that is so girly!" I cross my arms, pouting. Damn him... why did he have to buy me maternity clothes anyways? A fat dude's shirt would have worked just fine... plus then I could finally were a shirt with a snazzy fat person comeback like... "I am fat, but you are ugly... I can lose weight."

"It shouldn't matter to you whether or not the clothes are girly," Sasuke then rips off my shirt in an instant, "You are my little pregnant man and I want you to look like it. Sakura is coming over today and I want her to see how cute you look carrying my children, maybe then she'll stop her pathetic Sasuke seduction routine." He then forces me onto the bed so he can undo my pants.

"I am not going along with this Sasuke!" I kick him in the face, causing him to back up a few steps, "This may not have occured to you, but Sakura hates me. If she sees me like this... you do not even know the extent of her wrath..." I shudder recalling when we had finally spoken to her of our relationship... She went absolutely crazy, beating me in ways that I had never been beaten... my balls turned a deep shade of red.

"It's too bad you have no say in this..." Sasuke, rushes towards me, tearing off my pants in one tug, "I think it will be entertaining to watch her response and you are too weak and pregnant to decline." I watch him eye my teenage mutant ninja turtle underwear as he pins me down forcing something frilly over my head.

"Sasuke no!" I panic in despiration as he forces more clothes onto me,"Think of the children! you are putting us in danger... that cunt is going to tear us apart!" I continue to kick and scream, until he finally gets off of me, smirking at his handiwork.

"Well don't you look cute..." He comments looking at my now pink, duck covered body, "Don't worry too much about Sakura, Naru-chan... I'll be there the whole time, there is nothing she can do to you."

"That's what you think..." I glare at him in complete fury, "That girl is not normal, she has like... psyco-pms-freak powers! She will rip me limb from limb and it will be all your fault!"

He seems to be ignoring me as I continue to hurl horrid insults at him. I have never wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp more in my life. The door bell rings... Sasuke leaves the room to answer it, all I can think about are the horrid things that are instore for me when the pink thing finds out. shit. SHIT. SHIT!

"Hello Sasuke-kun!" I hear the shrill voice from the living room, "It's so nice to see you!"

"Hello Sakura, come in," Sasuke sighes, I can hear the door closing.

"So what was so important that you had to see me this instant... You wouldn't be cheating on Naruto now woul you?" I flinch at the tone of her voice, If I know my Sakura... she's probably has herself draped over my man... It's taking everything I got just to stop from running in there and punching the daylights out of Sasuke so I can look at the disappointed look in her face.

"I have no intention o betraying the man I love. I had you come over one reason, and one reason alone," I can imagine Sasuke is annoyed, "And that is so I can watch your reaction when you see what Naruto has become." Sasuke then opens the door of our bedroom to reveal me pacing, I look up to see Sakura, as shocked as can be... I can tell she won't be staying for dinner.

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	5. Sakura Rage

Here I am with another chapter... I could not update yesterday because is a shit sandwich... enough said. Thank you for all of the lovely reviews... they really do keep me a happy little gnome!

As usual, I will be updating this story as frequently as possible, but things do come up... so If I do not update for a while... It's because I am like uber busy... but do not fear! I never will drop this fic! that's a promise! (Gai pose)

On with the god damn fic!

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Sakura continues to stare at me for a few minutes... This is really getting quite irritating... she looks so shocked that I just continue to stand there for her display. I hope Sasuke is happy... this is by far one of the most degrading things to ever happen to me. I'm a pink duck wearing idiot. Yay me. 

Okay.. this is just awkward... at least make some motion to stop staring at me!

"Wow Sakura-chan..." I laugh nervously, trying to break her from her trance, "My clothes are kind of the same color as your hair..."

"You filthy..." I see the flame igniting within her as she violently lunges herself at me, "SON OF A BITCH!" I move a few steps to the right, out of her target range in defense, but before she could even reach me, Sasuke holds her back.

"Don't you dare touch him!" He screams, grabbing her wrists tight, forcing her to face him, "I swear, If you so much assplit a hair on his head I will kill you. You can not just act so violently towards him any longer! Not in this state at least!" This threat does nothing as Sakura kicks him directly in the balls, causing him to fall to the floor, tear running down his cheek...

"It's just not fair!" Sakura scream, her eyes begin to flood over, "I've tried so hard to please you, Sasuke... I am nice sinsere, and do my best for your attentionand you never once gave me a second look! What is it about him that is so great?" She shoots me a angry glare, "He's nothing but a loud mouth loser who will never amount to anything! Why Sasuke? Why him? Why does it have to be him!"

"Two simple words, Sakura..." Sasuke grunts, cupping his ruptured manhood, "I'm gay, meaning that I like men. Naruto is a man... Naruto was my friend, making him fair game. You, on the other hand, are neither a man nor my friend... you are just a wicked bitch who despite the fact that I have been seeing Naruto for three years and we have been living together for a while, can not give up her petty dream. You could, of coarse, give up your pathetic goal and seek something real... but you choose not to making you more of a pest rather than a comrade... You even attempted to attacked a person who was obviously pregnant just so you could vent out some of your 'frustrations.' It's about time you grasped reality... stop this foolishness and find a new goal in life. something that you actually can achieve!"

"Just shut up!" She screams, kicking Sasuke once more, "I've heard enough!"The tears flow down with a greater intensity as she turns to me, "This is all your fault! You never even cared about my feelings for him! you just hoarded himto yourself behind my back like the sneaky traitor you are!"

"Sakura," I calmly speak, trying to comfort the heart broken girl, "I don't even know how this happened... just know my intention was never to hurt you. I can't help it I love Sasuke, I can't help it he loves me back... I am sorry if you are upset, but there is no way I can ever give him up... I don't want this to turn into an issue. He is the father of my children, that should be enough for you to accept that we are together."

"Children?" She yelled in shock, "As in plural?"

"As in three." Sasuke adds in before Sakura kicks him in the balls once more as she storms off in rage. I sit down in exhaustion... what an eventful morning it has been... Sasuke slowly recovers and soon makes it to his feet.

"Well that was entertaining. "Sasuke comment, sitting beside me on the bed.

"You asshole!" I scream as I look into his eyes, "How could you do that to her? I know she can be a pain in the ass some times but she is still out team mate! You can't just-"

"But I did," Sasuke interrupts me, "And I have no regrets. If she did not find out now... she would have found out later when I am not here to protect you. This was the most safe approach."

"Some protection," I snarl in sarcasm, "You call falling to the ground with your hand over your crotch the safest approach?"

"It worked, didn't it?" Sasuke smirks, resting his head on my shoulder, "Don't test my methods, pregnant man... I might just have to take advantage of your immobility..." in a blink of an eye, Sasuke forced me downwards and has me pinned to the bed.

"How can you think about it at a time like this?" I whine as he attempts to pull off my pink crap.

"It's relatively easy..." Sasuke pulls my shirt over my head, "Sakura's ugliness make me want to confirm that there is still some life in these balls of mine..." Sasuke the draws closer to me, penetrating my mouth with his tongue, "Besides... aren't you supposed to be horny by now?"

"Give me a Twinkie and I'll think about it." I grunt, Sasuke reluctantly gets off of me to retrieve one from the kitchen... yup... being pregnant sure does suck.

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Sorrosa Girlie- gone fishing.


	6. Twinkies and Body Odor

Hello friends! back with another chapter! Thank you for all the awesome reviews... thank you for all the love you sent my way... this fic is sucking me in... I can't stop thinking about what I am going to do next with it... perhaps we will get married in Reno... or not... anyway... I just want to tell you all that you are all so beautiful to me... and no I am not drunk.

ON WITH THE FIC!

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Okay... so all I have to do is find so twinkies and Naruto will let me screw him? this doesn't seem too hard... I run to the kitchen, leaving him panting on the bed. I first check the refrigerator... nope...how about the coverts? ...shit... okay...where are those twinkies? I could have sworn I bought some just a couple days ago... I frantically double check everything... This only means one thing... Naruto ate all the god damn Twinkies. I re-enter the bedroom, empty handed. 

"Where's my Twinkie?" Naruto asks, looking up at me, "If you don't have a twinkie... then I suggest you get out of my face, before I get pissed."

"You ate them all," I speak, attempting to reclaim my position on top of him, "We don't have any twinkies... and that is not my fault. I still want to have sex."

"You can burn in hell!" He screams, forcing me off of him, sending me to the floor, "I'm hungry Sasuke! And I want a fucking twinkie this instant! You've failed me! How can you expect me to forgive you after being unable to provide me with twinkie goodness? You are a horrible person! A horrible boyfriend! But most of all... a horrible father! How could you deny your unborn children the wholesome nutrition that is the twinkie! You monster!" Tear began to flow down his face, "I was such fool to think that you could take care of me... you can't even provide me with a twinkie! Gaara was right! You are an incompetent poor excuse for boyfriend!"

"Look Naruto..." I calmly state, edging towards the door, "Just calm down... Fuck... If it means that much to you.. I'll get you a new box of twinkies from the convenience store..."

"I always knew I could count on you!" Naruto screamed, happily, "You are the best, Uchiha Sasuke! You are my shining beacon at the end of the dark tunnel! You are my magic prince who will rescue me from the tower of hatred I was seated in by the wicked witch who stole me away from birth! I love you Sasuke! More then any person on this earth! more than ramen on a sunny day! More than ramen on a cloudy day! More than ramen!"

"What about twinkies?" I sigh, annoyed by his odd craving, "Do you love me more than twinkies?"

"Of coarse not!" he screams, glaring at me, "You are noting compared to the awesomeness that is a twinkie! Get your ass over to that convenience store and get me a box now!" I do as he wishes, reluctant to leave the room... I hate mood swings... almost as much as I hate cravings. Some one must really hate me to force me to deal with both continuously. I make it to the convenient store... and It is unusually crowded... man... the day keeps getting better...

I go to the aisle where the twinkies are usually located, there is a fat man with a tattoo of a random boob on his arm directly in front of me... and boy does he smell like body odor... he is talking to the person who goes by the name of 'Wilma'... I am crowded in so close that I can not help but hear their conversation.

"Did you get the lube?" The fat man asks the 'Wilma,' "We need that to help Kim get out of that hole." God... I don't know what's going on... but bad images...

"Relax," The 'Wilma' says, pulling out some KY jelly, "We have plenty already... all we really need is some baking grease so we can invite Jason over, to make this a real party." Okay Sasuke... just close your eyes and count to ten... this is for the twinkies... this is for Naruto... this is for sex...

"Hey!" the fat man squeals in delight, "Look! twinkies!" He then picks up the box, putting it under his armpit. poor Twinkies...

"Well aren't we lucky?" The 'Wilma' chimes in, "We got the last box too!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream in terror, what the hell am I going to do now? I'm going to have to go home and listen to Naruto bitch about twinkies for hours and then he'll start crying and I'll never get to have sex... My poor balls...

"Are you all right?" The 'Wilma' asks me, turning around, "You don't look to well little man..."

"Please!" I scream, latching myself to The 'Wilma's' leg, "If you have any mercy I beg you! PLEASE! Please let me have that box of twinkies! My life depends on it!"

"Let me guess..." The fat man turns to me, "Your misses is pregnant and you have no choice but to buy many twinkies in order to keep any bedroom status?"

"Yes..." I speak slowly, "those twinkies are the only thing that can make Naruto happy... if I don't come home with them... he will kill me."

"Then here!" The fat man hands them over to me, "Congratulations, my friend, go home and get laid." I nod as I rush to the check out stand and pay for the damn things... I finally make it home, panting from the rush.

"Did you get them?" Naruto perks up, looking at me as I toss them at him, He takes a whiff, "EWW! These twinkies smell like armpits! There's no way I am going to eat such a toxic thing!"

"Deal bitch." I collapse on the couch, ignoring him... man, does pregnancy suck.

* * *

That's it for now! 

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	7. Got Youth?

Back with another chapter... you know how it goes... blah blah LOVE blah blah PRON blah blah CAKE blah blah INSERT WITTY BULLSHIT blah

Thank you to all who took the time to review... (insert huge heart)you make me a VERY horny little smurf... throbbing penises and all...

Today my heart feels as light as a feather... why? because I decided I'd get that damn thing shrunk to the size of a feather. A word of useless wisdom... from the great prophet Sorrosa,a great bathroom read.

Enough of my crap...

TO THE FICCAGE!

* * *

I hate Sasuke... That is all there is to it. Last week he displayed what a horrible person he is by giving me smelly Twinkies and you can bet he hasn't heard the end of it. I can't help it if I can't go out and get my own god damn Twinkies... I'm pregnant damnit!

I feel like I could tear his body limb from limb, display it in public, and then stick it in the blender... maybe then I'd forgive him.

"How are you feeling today dobe?" He asks, sneaking up from behind me. I scream in surprise... I then give the Uchiha what he's been deserving for the last week.

"Don't sneak up on me you stupid son of a bitch!" I turn around to yell in his face, "I hate you sick demented monster! You are nothing but the scum on the bottom of a fat man's shoe! A waste of space on this god damn planet! I hate you! Hate you! I HATE YOU!"

"Isn't that a nice way to wake up in the morning..." Sasuke commented, taking a few steps away from me, "The only reason I came in here was to remind you that you have a doctor appointment today... I won't be able to go with you, either... We have a mission today."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream, latching myself to him, "Don't leave me Sasuke! I love you! If you leave me alone with that woman... I don't know if I can take it! She's mean and she'll make fun of me... I don't want you to go! Stay with me Sasuke! That bitch will tear me apart!"

"Suck it up and be a man," Sasuke replies, heading towards the exit, "You are going to your appointment today, with or with out me... If I hear that you skipped out on it, I will have no choice but to perform the examination myself."

"I hate you," I then turn to him glaring, "I swear, as soon as I have these god damn kids, I'm leaving you for good! You'll never see them again and we will go somewhere far away where you'll never find us. Then you'll be sorry... You will have no choice but to live your life alone and no one will want to relieve your horniness because you are ugly and stupid. Even Sakura won't want to be with you because you will look like a banana... your hair will fall out and your skin will turn yellow."

"The appointment starts at ten," Sasuke sighed, "Please go... this isn't something you should skip out on. You are six months pregnant with triplets and in dire need of a check up. This is the only way we can insure the health of our children."

"Fine I'll go..." I give in, pouting, "But that still doesn't change the fact that I hate you! Even if you some how miraculously pulled out a brand spanking new box of Twinkies out of your ass, I still would not forgive you! You are below low! You suck in bed!"

Sasuke then leaves, without another word... and damn... do I feel bad, I slowly get out of bed, dressing in the most manly shade of pink maternity wear. I look at the clock, Fuck it's already nine-thirty... there is no way I can make it to the appointment at the speed of pregnancy. I curse to myself as I walk into the living room, finding an enthusiastic young man in green spandex.

"Lee?" I scream in surprise, "What the hell are you doing here?" Lee looks at me in complete amazement, eyes sealed on my stomach.

"Wow... Sasuke wasn't lying... you really are huge!" Lee then shakes his head furiously, "Forgive me Naruto, that was very unyouthful of me... you probably are wondering why I am in your living room and here I am gawking at your size."

"Well!" I scream in impatience, "Aren't you going to say anything useful? I don't have time to waste. I have an appointment to go to and I think you are simply making me far more late then I will be! If you have something to say, say it now before you waste anymore of my time!"

"Jeez... Sasuke was right, what an unyouthly temper..." I shot lee a death glare as he continued, "Sasuke and I agreed that giving you a piggy-back ride would both assist you in your immobility and it would give me an extra boost of training!"

"There is no fucking way I am letting you do that to me!" I whine, "You're working alongside that bastard to make my life a living hell! How could you Lee? I thought we were friends!"

"But Naruto..." Lee crossed his arms, "How else do you expect to get to your appointment on time?" Damnit... he has a point... but I won't give in so easily.

"I bet you can't even pick me up anyway!" I scream, before I know it I am on his back... he screams 'with the speed of youth!' and we are off on our way... I don't even think I have to tell you how irritated I am. On the back of a spandex-wearing juggernaut... god I hate my life.

* * *

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Has left the building


	8. Sonograms

FORGIVE ME! Yesterday was kind of an off day for me, call it stupidity if you want, but I really sorry for not updating. this chapter is a tad bit longer... may be that will make up for it...

But on another note... OH MY GOD THIS STORY HAS REACHED A HUNDRED REVIEWS! I love each and every one of you. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH!

umm... yeah... enough of my stupidity.

ON WITH TEH FICCAGE!

* * *

Who knew the speed of youth was so god damn fast? I mean, for a guy carrying around a pregnant guy... he sure can move. It kind of makes me wonder... what is Lee like in the bed? With all this stamina you'd expect... No... Stop thinking like that. You are not so incredibly horny that you would screw any random man... ESPECIALLY LEE.

I shake my head furiously as the image of Lee in a Speedo pops into my head... It burns... I close my eyes and concentrate on something more, humane.

"Okay, Naruto!" Lee comes to a halt, setting me down, "Here we are at the hospital! In good time too!" He grins at me as I look down at my watch.

"It's 10:05 you dipshit!" I scream, a annoyed as ever, "Can't you do anything right? I swear... didn't you promise me that you would get me here on time? Stupid green asshole! You're worse than Sasuke! All you do is make promises and never keep them! You Suck! You Smell! And your eyebrows are horrid and disgusting! You should go bury yourself in a pit so we would never have to look at your ugly mug again! You are nothing but a waste of good air!"

"I'm sorry Naruto!" Lee apologizes, not wanting to aggravate me even more, "I'm sorry I was an inconvenience to you! I never meant to make you late... I'm sure the doctors will excuse you! I never meant to make you up-"

"And I'm sure your mom never meant to make you ugly!" I cut in, getting into his face, "But you are! And very undependable too!" A tear runs down my cheek, "Why can't any one be honest these days? Nobody cares about being trustworthy these days..." I begin an all out bawl, "Sasuke and his god damn smelly Twinkies! You and your making me late! There are no good men anymore! I hate you all!"

"Just get in the fucking examination room, idiot," Tsunade interrupts me, I wipe the tears from my eyes, "You are making yourself late throwing hissy fits in the waiting room."

"You dirty cunt..." I glare at her, "How dare you tell me what to do? One of these days you are going to die and no one will find your body!"

"Shut up Naruto," She rolls her eyes, "I'm a doctor... I deal with pregnant people every day. Get a grip and come with me, you are making Lee cry." I look back to see Lee, eyes filled with tears.

"Good bye Naruto..." Lee turns away from me, heading for the exit, "Sasuke says he'll be here to pick you up in an hour, Good luck on your check up."

"I AM SUCH A MONSTER!" I moan, running towards Lee, locking him in an embrace, "How could I do such a thing to you? Please Lee! Forgive me for my horrible behavior! If I could I would take it all back! You are awesome and your green spandex is beautiful! I am so sorry!" Lee struggles against me, finally breaking free, I can tell that me attack had somewhat stirred something in the boy.

"Good bye Naruto-kun!" Lee turned around smiling, "I am glad you think my spandex is appealing! Perhaps Sakura-chan thinks the same!" Lee then exited the building with a spring in his step.

"Are you ready, Naruto?" Tsunade asked, gesturing me towards the halls, "I don't have a lot of time to waste with you." I whine as much as possible as she leads me to the examination room, I slowly ease myself down onto the examining bed.

"Have you been eating well?" She asks, picking up a clip board.

"Stupid Sasuke tried to feed me smelly Twinkies." I respond, "but other then that, yes, I have eaten well."

"Have you experienced any pains?" She takes a few notes down as she speaks, "Like back pains... any mild discomforts?"

"Yeah..." I place a hand on my stomach, "God damn ninjas, keep kicking me. I swear, it's like they're on a mission... 'mission cause me pain.'"

"Anything out of the ordinary?" She looks up at me, eyes on my stomach.

"Not that I know of," I sigh, "Everything seems to be going pretty well."

"Good," She puts down her clipboard, rising to her feet, "I'd like to examine them now... Take off your clothes and put on one of the gowns." she picks up on of the more larger ones, tossing it at me, "This one ought to fit you."

"Aren't you supposed to be leaving now?" I glare as I wobble up to my feet. She looks at me, only giving me an unamused expression.

"I'm going to have to inspect your body anyway," Tsunade states, "I don't see what the problem is... It isn't the first time I've seen your body either... don't you remember fluffy?" I twitch, God... the IMAGES, "Besides, I have to set up the sonogram machine. so shut up and get dressed." I begin to take off my clothes, sending her angry glances, I dress, going back to my seat.

"I hope you realize how much I hate you." I comment as she lifts up my gown, "You are worse than Satan, You really are a horrible doctor."

"I know." She then begins to smear a cool jelly onto my stomach.

"What the fuck?" I attempt to move away, "That stuff is fucking cold! Stop!"

"Suck it up idiot." She continues to massage it into my stomach, "It's necessary. The Sonogram won't function without it."

"No!" I squirm, "I don't like this! Cut it out!" I continue to move about as she continues to swirl the goop around my tummy, "I said no!" I attempt to kick her in the head, failing miserably.

"What are you doing, dobe?" Sasuke asks, entering the room, "I hope your not causing any trouble in the hospital. It's not their job to put up with your crap."

"Sasuke!" I scream, "It's so Cold! make her stop! Please!" He walks towards me, wrapping his arms around me.

"But don't you want to see the babies?" He asks, stroking my hair.

"Yes... but... Hey wait a minute!" I look at him in confusion, "Aren't you supposed to be on a mission today?"

"I got out early," He replied, letting go of me, "I wanted to be with you for this, so I tricked Sakura into finding all the cats for me." I chuckle, forgetting about the odd, sensations on my belly.

"I'm still mad at you, Uchiha Sasuke," I speak, feeling something slippery rub up and down my belly, "Even if the didn't taste bad, those Twinkies smelled really bad."

"I know," Sasuke grabs my hand, "I'm sorry I made you upset. I'll try not to hurt you any more, but you have to realize that your mood swings are getting a little out of hand."

"What mood swings?" I ask, looking up at Sasuke, who seems to be as shocked as ever.

"You two," Tsunade barks, bringing our attention to her, "Just shut up and look at the screen. I really don't have the patience for your stupidity." We look in awe at the screen of the sonogram, I squeeze Sasuke's hand excitement. For the first time... I am looking at my children... Our children.

* * *

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Insane in the Membrane


	9. Sasuke gone wild!

Hello to all... HERE IS AN UPDATE! Are you all happy? good. you should be... I mean... I AM SO GREAT!

Thank you all for the uber awesome reviews... LET MPREG INVADE OUR SOULS!

on with the fic, damnit.

* * *

Here I am, sitting on the couch. I would move... but my ass is stuck between the cushions, rendering me completely immobile. I try to squirm, but I only sink in farther... Why am I so damn fat? Oh yeah... Damn you pregnancy...

Usually I wouldn't be so upset to be on the couch, but I really have to take a piss and the television is mysteriously switched onto the damn Teletubbies. I loathe the Teletubbies. Who wants to see a big red blob run up and down a hill for thirty minutes? Not me... that's for damn sure. The remote is out of reach... leaving me no choice but to swallow my pride.

"Sasuke..." I whine, giving a last attempt to free myself from my couch prison, "Could you come here for a second? I need you... I need your help!"

"One second Naruto," He replies from the kitchen, "I'm busy making our dinner... I'll be out in just a moment."

"No!" I scream, banging my hand against the couch cushion, "Come here now! If you don't I will be so angry... I won't talk to you for a month! You have ten seconds to come out here before I bring up the Twinkies again!"

"Have patience," Sasuke continues, "Whatever it is it can wait a few minutes until dinner is done, then I will be able to address whatever it is you need help with to the best of my abilities."

"Get over here now Sasuke!" I yell, now completely pissed, "I need your help now and it can not wait! Dinner is not as important as helping me in a tough situation!"

"Stop it with this stupidity and just relax," Sasuke stated firmly, "I am not going to drop everything and help you with something pointless. Anything you have to say can wait until I am done, then you will have my complete attention."

"What if it this an emergency?" I groan, twisting, trying as hard as I can to get out of the couch, "What if my water broke and you were making dinner and refused to help me? Wouldn't it be a pity if because you don't take me serious enough, I was not able to receive immediate medical care. With triplets... that can be extremely dangerous! Some father you are! I hope I die from complications so you will feel like shit afterwards!" Within a second, Sasuke stood beside me.

"Your water broke! This early?" Sasuke began to panic, "Oh my god... Oh my god... We have to get you to the hospital now!" He pulls me up out of the couch, grunting as he picks me up.

"What the hell are you doing?" I yell in surprise, "Let go of me asshole! I just wanted you to get me out of the couch! now let go!"

"How the hell do you expect me to take you to he hospital then?" He yells, opening the door, "We don't have time to argue... we have to get to Tsunade as soon as possible!"

"You jackass!" I continue to screech, "I never said my water broke! I just said 'what if' my water broke! Now let go of me, I have to go pee!" Sasuke, puts me down, I can sense his anger.

"You mean you lied to me?" Sasuke turned to me, glaring, "You whined, brought me out here, and scared the crap out of me for nothing?"

"That's not exactly true," I smile at the enraged Uchiha, "I was stuck in the couch... and the teletubbies were on! I needed you to help me out and that is what you did... So thank you!"

"Sometimes I just want to just punch you so bad!" Sasuke yelled, "I swear, you're nothing but an asshole using pregnancy an excuse to treat me like shit! All you do is complain while I take care of you, putting up with your idiotic abuse!"

"You think this is an excuse?" I scream putting a hand on my stomach, "I am carrying your children! You try hauling this around all day, feeling sick and irritable! It's your problem if you don't pay attention to me the first time! I wouldn't call you unless I needed you!"

"And so you have the right to yell at me day in and day out?" Sasuke continued, "Everything I do is for you and all you can do is whine about what a horrible job I've done! Did you know that the day I gave you those Twinkies, that I had to beg a fat man for the last box? I couldn't help it they smelled!"

"Whatever asshole!" I scream, turning away from him, "I don't have to listen to this anymore! I'm going to bed! You can sleep on that damn couch!"

"Aren't you going to eat!" Sasuke stops in abruptly in shock, "Oh shit! The food!" He then runs into the kitchen, I head for the bedroom, as soon as I lie down I hear Sasuke yell at me, "Naruto get out of the house!"

"I'm not listening!" I yell back, covering myself with blankets.

"GET OUT NARUTO!" Sasuke screams, from the kitchen I hear a furious roar, "NOW! HURRY!"

"Not listening!" I scream once more, covering my head with a pillow.

"THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!" He screams, I pop up, getting out of bed as fast as I can.

"OH SHIT!" I shriek in fear. I wobble into the living room, seeing Sasuke smile at me, he hands me a bowl of ramen.

"I got you!" He laughs sinisterly, my face is red with anger and embarrassment.

"You son of a bitch!" I yell, glaring at him, "You scared the crap out of me! Don't laugh! that's not funny!"

"Yes it is," Sasuke, sets me into a chair from the kitchen, "Now we are even... I had to find a way to find a way to get you out of that room and feed you... This was the most practical solution." I glare at him as he regains his composure.

"Stop glaring and eat your ramen, pregnant boy," He states, "You knew you had this coming."

"I hate you," I take a bite of my ramen, "And I will make your life a living hell from this point on." Let's see if he's still smiling... when I get my revenge.

* * *

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My Anti-Drug


	10. Revenge

Hello Friends! Here I am with a new Chappie! I am so happy to be writing... I though I'd sing a song... LA! LA! LA! 

But on another note... I went to blockbuster and rented this gay flick called "Testosterone" and it was... 

SO FUCKING HAWT! 

I swear... all you Yaoi fangirls out there... watch it! 

or else... 

ON WITH TEH FIC!

* * *

Something is up... I can sense it as Naruto kisses me good bye for today's mission, He smiles at me and tells me to come home as soon as I can, He has a present for me... This is odd... very odd... Since when has Naruto every been nice enough to get me a present? Since when is Naruto not complaining about god damn Twinkies? Ever since the night I told him that the house was on fire he has been acting differently... He must be plotting his revenge.

I begin my walk to the place where we are meeting today, all I can think about is what Naruto has in store for me... maybe it's not even waiting for me at home... may be he's out to get me on the streets or while I'm least expecting it... Okay Sasuke... don't be paranoid. There is nothing an seven months pregnant idiot can do to you. He can even get out of bed without my help, what the fuck am I worrying about?

But wait... what if he has an accomplice? Naruto has plenty of friends who would pay to see me embarrass myself. Naruto has plenty of friends who hate me to the core. Okay... stop thinking about this... Just keep walking...

"Sasuke-kun!" I hear a loud voice from behind me, I turn quickly to see Ino, "It's so nice to see you this morning! Tell me... how is Naruto?"

"He's fine," I let out a sigh of relief, I know Ino would never pull a prank on me... she obsesses about me WAY too much, "A little bitchy... but he is very healthy, there seems to be no trouble in his pregnancy."

"Good to know," She smiles at me, "Be sure to tell me when the babies are born... I want to be the first one to see them in the hospital!" I raise an eyebrow at her... since when has Ino been so friendly towards Naruto? When we first came out of the closet together she was like... freaked out and now she is all... whoa...

"Have you given up on me Ino?" I ask, very curious on her intentions...

"No," She replies, "But you know what they say... You get farther with sugar than vinegar! Good bye Sasuke-kun!" She then waves as I continue down the street... Geez... Women...

Before I know it I am in front of the mansion where we were supposed to meet today, Kakashi is late, as usual, and Sakura keeps giving me this odd look, as if she feels guilty or something... stupid bitch... my poor nads... I hope some one rips out all her pink hair or something...

"So..." Sakura tries to break the impenetrable ice, "How is Naruto doing these days?"

"Hn." I respond. Because of her I have to her endless rants from Naruto about his overwhelming guilt. Apparently we could have been nicer about telling her... But if you ask me, this was the most beneficial for me. She hasn't latched on to me since. Life has been better without her pink smelly hair in my face. She doesn't speak any more and soon Kakashi arrives in his usual pink cloud of smoke.

"I'm sorry you guys..." Kakashi smiles as he pulls out a copy of Icha-Icha Paradise, "But I had to speak with Naruto about plotting revenge on Sasuke." I am shocked... I KNEW IT! He is after me!

"So what did he say?" I ask, trying not to sound too anxious. Kakashi looks away from his book to glance at me.

"I'm not allowed to say that he has not made his mind up on exactly how he is going to do it," Kakashi covers his mouth with his hand, "Oops... did I say that? Oh well... He also said to keep you busy until three today."

"What exactly is going on?" Sakura asks, completely lost, "What exactly did you do to him?" I glare at her, like I'd ever tell her my business...

"Apparently enough to make Naruto very pissed," Kakashi sighed, "Every time I see him, It's always 'Twinkie this' and 'Twinkie that,' I swear... It never ends!"

"It's just the hormones talking," I speak, irritated by the whole conversation, "He gets fairly upset when things are not going his way... He throws the most horrible tantrums. enough said." We then begin our mission, It seems that every day we do the same things... we catch cat after cat... this is enough to drive me insane... Some times the same cats get loose and we have to start all over again... but after many months of cat-catching, I have perfected the art. I soon catch all the cats, giving them to their proper owners.

"Well wasn't today an interesting day?" Kakashi comments, turning the page, "It's three-thirty... you can leave now Sasuke, send Naruto my regards." I then turn away, walking home. I sense the pink bitch following me, but I simply ignore her.

"Sasuke-kun.." she speaks loud enough to get my attention.

"Go home Sakura," I say in a monosyllabic tone.

"I.." She tries to get a word in...

"I don't care." I cut her off before she can, "Go home Sakura, whatever it is... It can wait another time. right no I have a angry pregnant man to go home to." She then gives up, turning away. I make my way home to find Naruto sitting on the couch, watching the Teletubbies.

"I though you hated this show..." I greet him, sitting beside him, putting my arm around his shoulder.

"I do," He speaks, not even turning to look at me, "But I can't help but watch... It's sucking me in..."

"Wow," I respond, watching Po run up and down a hill, "So I take it that you are going to pull a prank on me now?"

"I was..." He replies, eyes glued to the television, "But then the Teletubbies Marathon started... so I decided I wouldn't do it... I would just resort to giving you this." He hands me an envelope.

"What is this?" I bring the envelope closer to me, he does not even care to respond until a commercial, he then turns to me.

"Open it." He stares at my hands as I open up the envelope, seeing the most horrid sight... Sakura bathing...

"That's low, Naruto..." I tremble, dropping everything to the floor, "So very low... How could you?"

"You deserved it, bastard," He then turns back to the Television. God, do I hate pregnancy...

* * *

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Private Investigator (If you are male... I will Insvestigate your private.)


	11. While Sasuke Is Away

AND HERE I AM WITH THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY OF UZUMAKI NARUTO!

I am so excited... Thank you all... form the bottom of my icy cold heart for reading and showing me tons of support... I never thought I'd write so much in so little time...

I have so much to say... but I know you guys just want to read... so...

ON WITH TEH FIC!

* * *

This pregnancy is wearing me down... being in the final stages, I can not get out of bed in the morning without the help of Sasuke. I stay home all day and watch the Teletubbies... that's the way it has been for the past two months...

Only now have I started thinking... how exactly are the babies going to come out of me? I am not a girl, so natural birth is out of the question, but then I think... how exactly did I get pregnant in the first place? Does getting pregnant mean I have a uterus? If so... does that mean I am actually not a guy? My head hurts...I do not want to know... but I have to know... when exactly am I going to give birth? How will I know when I am ready?

This is all Sasuke's fault... I don't know how, but it is.

Sasuke has been staying home more and more lately... I think he is worried about me. He turns down most of his missions, telling Kakashi that I need him here with me... Yeah right, Me need him... All he is good for is to help me up when ever I sit down, or to feed me because the belly keeps generally everything out of my reach... Or to stare at when ever I am horny... nothing more, I swear.

I think I am tired of being pregnant... when will this ever end? Sasuke seems pretty irritable too... he keeps complaining about my sleep talking... what the hell? I don't sleep talk! stupid bastard. I wobble my way to the kitchen to find a note on the refrigerator, it reads:

Naruto-

Do not freak out. I am out speaking with the Hokage. Do not freak out. I will be home as soon as possible, but I am not sure how soon that will be. Do not freak out. I am sorry I couldn't tell you in person, but it was kind of a rush. Do not freak out. This was completely necessary, I do not feel comfortable leaving you home alone. Do not freak out. I promise, no one is going to hurt you.

See you soon,

Sasuke

PS- Do not freak out.

Oh My God. Oh My God Oh My God... There is some one in my house... Some one who will hurt me...I turn in all directions and begin to shiver... Get a grip Naruto... No one is going to hurt you. No one is going to kill you. No one is going to bury your body in the forest somewhere... Oh shit... I'm freaking out.

"Hello Naruto..." I hear a voice from behind you, "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO FUCKING HUGE!" I turn quickly to see Sakura gaping at my enlarged belly.

"Sa-Sakura..." I stutter nervously, edging away from the girl, "Wha-What are you doing here?" She shakes her head furiously to break the awkward stare.

"Sasuke-kun told me to watch you while he went out..." Sakura replied, "It's been a while Naruto... How have you been lately? How far along are you?"

"I'm umm... doing pretty well," I respond nervously, "And I'm about nine months pregnant... now would be a really bad time to kill me Sakura..." She looks at me, slightly offended.

"Idiot! I'm not going to kill you!" She screams, "God you really are the worst at assumptions!"

"Oh..." an eerie silence silence ensues, in order to break the ice, I speak, "Why are you helping me Sakura, I thought you hated me..."

"I did," She let out a sigh, "For a while I despised you with a passion, because you took away everything I had wanted, I was so jealous... And when I saw you pregnant, that just threw me over the edge, I couldn't take it any longer. I threw a tantrum and now that I look back, I was so cruel to you... that is not the type of person I want to be. I want to be strong. Strong enough to live on... I don't need him to exist, but I can not bare to end things like that, I want still be in both of your lives, not as a comical villain, but as some one you can consider a friend. I know I have made bad choices in the past, but can you forgive me?" I see tears flood down her eyes as she approaches me, I do not try to move away as she locks me in an emotional embrace.

"Wow Sakura... I don't know what to say... except... OH SHIT!" I clench in pain as I feel a wave of pain go through my entire body, I fall to the floor as Sakura attempts to catch me.

"Naruto are you okay?" She screams, slowly dropping me to the floor. I shake my head furiously are the pain continues.

"I think…" I moan in pain as I feel my legs spread apart instinctively, "I think I'm going to have them now!"

"Oh no…" She begins to panic, kneeling beside me, "What are we going to do? I can't possibly pick you up and Sasuke is going to be gone for at least two more hours!"

"Hah… Sakura," I begin to breath heavily, "You're a medic-nin right? We have nothing to worry about…"

"Nothing to worry about?" Sakura screams in frustration, "First of all, I'm a novice, at best… I only know the basic procedures of standard births! You are a man with a high risk pregnancy! I don't even know where they are going to come out! Even if I was somehow miraculously able to deliver your babies, there is no way I can guarantee that they'd be alive and healthy!"

"Don't worry Sakura…" I reply as I perform a few hand seals, turning into a naked girl, "I believe in you… I know you can do this…"

"Naruto I'm scared…" Sakura cries, as worried as ever, "I don't want to ruin this for you and Sasuke… I don't want your children to die!"

"Calm down Sakura, there is no way you will be at fault for anything…" I scrunch my face as I feel another contraction come on, "Just do your best… you are going to deliver the best damn babies ever!"

"I hope you're right…" Sakura gains her composure, "I hope this works out as planned…"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Naruto, I'm back… I hope things weren't to uncomfortable for you." Sasuke speaks entering the kitchen, There I am on the floor, Sakura by my side with three little baby boys in my arms.

He is speechless…

"Stop gaping and get down here!" I scream at the shocked Uchiha, "I still can't get up!"

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

Sorrosa Girlie...

Until Next Time...


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